May used to mean nothing more to me than lilacs, alyssum and magnolias blooming. Spring. New beginnings. It still holds this sentiment, but as we grow, the momentum of life resembles a snowball effect; rolling down the hill, faster and faster and is growing larger by the second.
My 18 year old is graduating next week from high school. She attended junior prom last weekend, with her current boyfriend ,a junior. Big deal, but not as big as the senior prom approaching. Graduation 2 days later. New York City for college in the late summer. It is flying right by. This is a real good time to be in the moment. Soak up each minute by being present. Present to life, present to the opportunities that prevail.
New York is so a part of my life as well as her Dad's. Thank God. You think you are mentally and emotionally prepared, and realize once the college decision/ direction is chosen that you can handle it. This is not something meditation will soothe or make disappear. No, being with the unusual feeling is what happens, and here it is late May with a few more months to go. Realizing that her comfort zone as we all have known it the past 18 years has the possibility in taking a 180 turn.
Oh, I know new opportunities so large are waiting for her. I relish the thought. We all pray that the foundation of home life, religion the morals and standards taught are "baked" inside her soul. I must have faith, and more importantly surrender to her growth. Not only hers, but ours too as her parents. We all transform in this magnificent time. Time to embrace it, and be in the moment,accepting life as it unfurls.
As a mother, my desire is to comfort her and to love her, but as I do this my grip must lessen and my heart must see her as a fly away bird, and to set her free.
On a side note, Aya's Dad and I held the post prom party at our home last Friday night. As we awoke, they began to go to sleep at the crack of dawn. This was a wholesome, safe and fun filled evening, despite the skeptical phone calls I received prior by several parents. We created an atmosphere that any adult would have enjoyed, right down to the breakfast food!
The next phase of life… for us, will be the Senior Prom and the gathering of all relationships of our past that have been involved with Aya one way or another. Stay tuned !
Yours, in spirit,